the evil DO

// … because there is always a way out of an open DO loop 

maximumAnxiety = 99; 

do;

currentAnxiety = 0;

dow currentAnxiety <= maximumAnxiety;

select;

when bossYells;

currentAnxiety = currentAnxiety * 2;

when projectLate;

currentAnxiety = (maximumAnxiety/2) + 1;

when dogAteMyCode;

currentAnxiety = maximumAnxiety + 5;

other;

currentAnxiety = currentAnxiety + 2;

endsl;

enddo;

if hospitalizedForStress;

leave;

endif;

enddo;

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5 responses

  1. Does your Boss yell? I find that very hard to believe!

  2. P.S. In the UK. th Boss is called “Guv’nor” or just “Guv”. Try that on Monday morning 🙂

  3. Current boss does not yell, but all those before him did.

    Current boss just gets a funny look on his face, as if he has given up when confronted with such (please pick one):
    (a) brilliance
    (b) insanity
    (c) audacity
    (d) all of the above

    At some point in the future, I ought to dedicate a code snippet to him. However, I am not at all certain whether he would appreciate my insights.

  4. Love the ‘Guv’ thing! I will have to try this out and report on the outcome.

  5. “Guv” goes well with ” ‘old up lads, oi’ve ‘ad an idea” and “you were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off”. Difficult, but not impossible to drop into normal office conversation.

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